Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
You know how one's heart can be cofused of what exactly the feelings that they had to someone else. While someone can easily having this direct way of showing their emotions, or at least they are assured of what and how they feel, I'm certainly not in the category.
I kinda believe in the law of attraction. This is a general statement, not necessarily regarding love interest. When I found people with same interest, or look kind, or funny or at least have the same emm how to say 'weirdness' as you, you can simply just say hey what's up, let's be friends. I am pretty sure people that started to know (before they know the real me) thought I was a really well-mannered, mature person when in reality.. Well. They know. 
I wasn't intentionally being someone else. I just don't easily open up to anyone that I just met. I bet most of us like that. And being that kind of someone else is just being me. Remain mysteriously anonymous. 
But one thing I was for sure already tired of was trying to make everyone like me. I mean..who wants anyone to hate you right? And being that kind of a person, making me hardly to hate people. Unless you do something really really bad and unforgivable, just go down straight to the hell (sorry, exaggrating a bit). But at the same time, oh God please help this poor poor heart, I can also be confused if I really like someone or not. I can be good to anyone. But at the same time, I hardly can tell if I like you or not. If I like you, then I must have really like you. And this, is a statement to my dearly family and friends for sure. 
I know, out there, friends of my age whom are busy getting married and what-not while me, being stuck in everyday-problem-of-what-to-eat or should-I-sleep-early-or-late kind of situations, should at least try to achieve something more valuable dream in her life. I am speaking to this fickle-ing heart of mine, steady, chill out, we're gonna be just fine. And awesome too. 

While I was thinking
To get noticed
I retreat back quickly
It's not like I'll be having any chance
Do I?

I wish I can be there

살아도 사는게 아니래 너 없는 하늘에 창 없는 감옥같아서

웃어도 웃는게 아니래 초라해 보이고 우는것 같아 보인데

Part of us wanting to leave
While part of us still wanting to fight for it
It's life
It is that kind of life.

How to undo this feeling?

She asked me.

I look through her, and saw tears started to fill in.

I never really hope for anything, 
but I did pray for any chance to come.

Yet, she never worked for it.

So no one to be blame except you.

I wanted to tell her that but I just stared at her with pity.

Or at least it's a good news for her.

At least she can get over it.

And finally

Like finally she can move on.


But how?


I can never give the right answer to that.

Only time heals.

Wait.

Only Allah can mend a broken heart.

That's for sure.

I am 23.

When something is wrong,
never will it go right.

So should I set my heart free
Or should I just let it stay in the cage
that I locked myself into?

No.
Certainly not.

My heart wasn't even mine
that I can use it the way I want it.

So I shall return it to the one who gave me,
the one who entrusted me with such precious.