I'm taking the roads

I am on different level in confidence
I believe in myself
True enough
But I have doubts that people
Will have that confidence in me.

In short, I don't trust people would see me in any kind of lights from their spectrum.

Is that considered as self-doubting too?

I couldn't show
So all I can do is sigh

And let it go.


-ASA

You know what's killing me inside?

Unable to say what's on my mind
Can't even tell what I feel
Knowing that I'll never be good enough.

The reasons why I gave up even before I start.
How pathetic.

Keep me sane
Keep me rest assured
For I now
Living in chaos
An uncertainty
Afraid of downfalls
Fear of rejection
Fear of falling apart

How I love the skies
But it hurts too much
'cause I can never reach it
Or feel it
How I love the seas
And the sound of the breeze
But it hurts that I'm gonna drown
If I go too deep
How I love the trees
But it hurts that
Someday they wilt
Left with bare trunks and dried leaves
And how I love the souls
But it could leave anytime
As it pleased to come
How am I going to love
When the love itself 
Hurt me these much.

-ASA

A rose can stand on its own
and still looks pretty
You can even hand it over directly
To your beloved

But a cherry blossom
It is nice as a petal
And pretty as a flower
But it is most beautiful with all its parts
The branches
The trunk
The whole scenery at its background
Even the fallen petals on the ground
Indeed,
It is most beautiful as a whole.

-ASA

Looking down,
Walking straight,
Following wherever those feet gonna bring,
With a plastered smile on her face,
Yup,
That was just her,
Covering up all those emotions
Storming inside her.

-ASA

I'm in state of denial
Constantly denying every emotion
That flooded into my soul.

I rather not feel anything.

Let it numb.

"몸은 괜찮아?"

안괜찮아.

슬프다.

It's too hard and tiring,
I even feel like I'm dying a little inside.

p/s: get a good grip on yourself. You're better than this dear self.

You never even try,
So now
why bother to cry.

-ASA

I tried to make this cold heart
Frozen even more,
Till all it could feel
Was numb.

-ASA

Nothing is more pathetic than pitying yourself.

A woman is at her strongest

Regardless of all,
I'm still standing
On the path that I've taken.

How sad its fate.
The unscented flower withered
Even before it could bloom.

How sad.

*repeating this song in my playlist*

How can I get your love
How can I make you smile
두근거리는 이 설레임
내 맘 물들이네

What can I do but dream
Living in a dream all day
용기를 내 널 초대하고 싶어
내게 와줄래 너와 나의 꿈 속에

이런 느낌 어디에서
왔는지 잘 몰라
자그만 이 떨림은
나만 알고 있을 뿐
내가 만든 모래성에
나를 가둔 소년처럼
아직 꿈을 찾아 헤맸던 거야
Shall we dream together now
You and I

How can I win your heart
How can I make You mine
아주 조금씩 너에게 말해줄게
내게 와줄래 우리 함께 나눌 꿈


이런 느낌 어디에서
왔는지 잘 몰라
자그만 이 떨림은
나만 알고 있을 뿐
내가 만든 모래성에
나를 가둔 소년처럼
아직 꿈을 찾아 헤맸던 거야
Shall we dream together now
You and I