Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Assalamualaikum and salam ukhuwah to all.


First of all, barakallahu lakuma wa baraka alaikuma wa jama'a bainakuma fi khair to my friend, Amnani and her husband. They got married last weekend but oh dear me who's just too lazy to do anything (even updating blog was a hard thing to do). Well, now I'm updating. Teehee~

I was happy yet felt insecure as I just realised I'm being old (okay, older) stuff like marriage or having anyone specific that you like or may be in a relationship become synonym to whoever reach this age (dude, I thought we're only 18, but reality hit me. Really hard. I know. FOREVER 21)

I was warned before by Kak Nana (I miss you fyi hehe) but wasn't expected to be asked earlier by the elders (No, not my parents. They know what kind of daughter they have. So yeah). As far as they are concerned about me, of course I am much more of concerns towards myself. Imagine that I still have another 5 years to finish my studies no, I'm not thinking of going any further than that but may be(?) and barely knowing anyone around me or maybe it's because I'm the one who built the wall, I don't really trust any man except my dad and my brothers really. Does this sounds like I'm desperate? No, I am sure I'm NOT. But hey...a fitrah is a fitrah.

The fact I'm not ready for any of these has stated what's on my mind. Even my mum doesn't allow me to get married at such young(?) age (maybe some of you consider as late, well it depends) I know she only want me to concentrate on my studies and nothing else matter (yang wajib tetap wajib).

Speaking of which, this topic has never been missed to be as hot as it should be since I entered my foundation years (around 18 or 19). Talking about what kind of man you would marry to, having kids, house, car, blablabla. Seriously...sometimes I feel like does it really matter? Of course. Yeah, I know. But to think of it, seriously...you don't even help out your mum when you're at home. Your room is a mess. You yourself is not really how to say (in a manageable situation) and you want to talk about marriage(?!). I think the first thing ever a person has to do is being matured (not in term of appearance but how they act and think). I know I'm not in the shoes to say this but at least I learnt the philosophy (at least that's what I think hoho).

And girls, perfect man only exist in books (except Rasulullah SAW, he's the most perfect man I ever heard of). Same goes to men, perfect girls like Saidatina Khadijah may or may not exist anymore. So it's up to us actually, perfecting ourselves instead of finding the perfect guy. It's not wrong to find 'the' good guy but I think it's wrong if you put too much hope. Not to forget, keep praying to Him. Allah knows who's best for us.


To my future husband (whom I still don't have LOL),
I don't write cheesy words until I found the one (I'm not searching for anyone right now please -talk to my nails)
I felt sorry to my future husband 'cause you're going to deal with a weirdo. I know *fanning myself